Reconciliation

I just realized... I'm so tied to my identity as a girl, that I've been cutting myself off to my past experience "as a boy." Essentially, I've been having strong recollections of things that happened (mostly toxic behavior) in my 20s, and I've been breaking down crying because that whole period felt/feels alien to me.

There's still a part of me that feels "boyish"... and I'm often internally trying to justify why I should feel one way or another, or why the way I'm feeling isn't ok.

Tired of the fight; relaxing into it.